How Not To Suck At Socialising – Do’s & Don’ts
Being socialable is a very easy thing to do, and it shouldn’t be something you’re either good at or not. You can learn to become a more social person – if you want to.
Generally extroverts will have less trouble getting out and talking to new people, but that’s to be expected. Don’t think, however, that outgoing people don’t make mistakes either. There are ways to make life easier while you’re out and about.
Initiate conversation – A lot of people, while out, wait for other people to talk to them. Becoming the person that initiates conversation and breaks the ice is, as they say, half the battle. When you feel more comfortable doing this, you’ll find yourself meeting more and more interesting people and gaining fruitful friendships.
It can be somewhat daunting at first because of fear of rejection or being shut down. This will almost never happen. At worst you’ll receive a closed yet polite response. Just remember, people are out to be social. You have small groups of people who are sticking to themselves, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to meet new people.
Smile – If you look like you’re unhappy you’ll be less approachable. This is an easy step to appearing open and social. When you initiate conversation, your smile should be mirrored and rapport will build from there.
Enjoy your company – When you look like you’re having fun you are instantly more likable. People want to know fun people, someone who enjoys company. While out with friends, have a good time. It may seem obvious, but many groups of people head out and do nothing but scan the room.
If you’re enjoying yourself, people will notice and want in on the action.
Acknowledge randoms – This can be as simple as a smile and a nod. When you make eye contact with a stranger, acknowledge it. If your smile is reciprocated, this will be an easy introduction. Later, initiate the conversation.
One of my favorite things to do while out is make friends with random people. How else do you make new friends? You’ll find the most fun and personally suitable people come from these random encounters.
Dress the part – I don’t find this the most important step, but it does make life a lot easier when you look like you belong somewhere. Now, I don’t mean losing any individuality. I mean don’t go out of your way to look unapproachable.
If you just came from work, for instance, loosen up. Unless it’s an after-work crowd you’ll find yourself out of place and more likely not to be approached. Personally, I don’t adhere to this rule very much, but it will make yourself that much approachable.
Then again, individuality goes a long way. Be yourself.
Listen – People enjoy talking about themselves. The worst, however, is when someone only waits for you to stop talking so they can begin again. Take a genuine interest in people. People are very interesting, so actively engage in a conversation. There is a lot to talk about in this world, small talk isn’t all that necessary – particularly because it can be painfully boring.
Converse, don’t rant – The best way to get good responses out of people is to ask good questions. Avoid ‘what do you do’ and ‘nice weather’ etc. Talk about something that interests you. People love explaining things they know, so when you don’t know what someone is talking about, ask them. Don’t pretend like you know, they will be more than happy to teach you.
Keep eye contact – Don’t scan the room while talking to someone. It is a clear indication you’re not interested in the conversation. If you really have no interest in what someone is saying, change the topic. Or excuse yourself. There’s a million reasons to end the encounter; not every conversation has to be meaningful.
Being able to look someone in the eyes is directly related to some recognizing honesty
Keep open body language – Whether alone or not, avoid closing yourself off by crossing your arms etc. Remain open, remain active. People will generally not approach wallflowers. And in any case, what fun is there to be had just standing around?
Do stuff – It’s hard to talk about your day when you haven’t done anything. Don’t think that you don’t need to do any work in a conversation. Try to engage the other person and be interesting. Call on another time you were at this particular venue. Did you read something interesting today? Mention it and ask opinions. Everyone’s got them.
Sit on your phone – If in conversation, or in good company, I generally ignore my phone. Unless it is to arrange meetings etc, I’ll let it go and return the call when appropriate. There is something very rude about being in the middle of a discussion and being shut off by a phone call. You’re left in the lurch, sipping your drink with no one around.
If I can see that the call will be longer than 30 seconds, I’ll usually get up and go for a wander. It’s not to be rude. I’ll excuse myself and join someone else, maybe make a call myself.
Ignore randoms – As previously stated, meeting random people is excellent fun. You don’t need to launch into a discussion right away, or even really care about the person at all. But being polite and open to interaction will go a long way.
First of all, you might make a new friend. You might score a few free drinks or have a hilarious interaction. Secondly, if you are open to anyone approaching you, low and behold, you will look more approachable and find more people initiating conversation with you. You’re making life easier!
Dwell on smalltalk – I’m quite adverse to smalltalk. You really don’t need to ask the standard ‘interview’ questions. “What do you do?” etc. A lot of people have fairly uninteresting jobs and know that. People are out to forget their work lives, so why bring it up?
Granted, it’s an easy way to get a general picture of someone, but do you need it? Wouldn’t it be better to ask more pertinent questions like, “How is your night going?” or “Have you seen this DJ before?” Ask what someone is drinking or where they bought their shoes.
Smalltalk indicates almost no general interest until you come up with something out of the ordinary – like “I write blogs for a living”. Likewise, if you’re a student, don’t talk about school.
Get blind – If you’re out to be social, becoming a drunken zombie will do you no good. I’m not going to say it never happens to me, but if you want a fruitful evening, stay at least somewhat conscious. It’s easier to talk that way.
Criticise – It’s OK to give your critique of the music or selection of beers, but don’t let it get you down. No one has any fun with someone that’s continually upset about little things. You might be at a dive, but still enjoy yourself. You generally have the best times in the worst places possible.
Judge people – You’re making it very hard for yourself when you are continually judging people before talking to them. Almost no-one’s personality matches their look. Just because someone isn’t enjoying their company – as mentioned above – doesn’t mean they want to be shut out.
Go out of your way to approach wallflowers and people who aren’t smiling. You may not get a great, or even polite, response but don’t let that deter you. Some people don’t realize they are putting out particular signals [with body language etc] and you’ll be pleasantly surprised when they suddenly brighten up by your witty comments.
Don’t feel like you have to do anything. You’re out for your own reasons and want to do your own thing. Different things work for different people. For instance, you might never feel comfortable approaching strangers. Find your own groove and be yourself.
Anything you don’t agree with?
16 Intimate Things Every Couple Should Do At Least Once
No flame burns forever, and the same goes for love. The busyness of modern life has deprived many couples of time together, let alone moments for extra intimacy. Passion and sexual tension need to be reignited regularly to keep love strong and growing. See the following 16 things you can do as a couple to increase intimacy and your desire for each other.
1. Take a shower together
A shower in itself is a very personal act. It is a daily routine that is undergone in one’s own privacy. To shower together is to break down this barrier of private space and get closer to each other. As you lather each other with foam, you re-learn about each other’s body—the curves, the shapes and where it tickles. A shower together can be very intimate and relaxing, or full of sexual tension, or both.
2. Have sex in a public place
It could be in a secluded corner in a park, in your own backyard, or anywhere where you won’t get caught easily. Make it a shared adventure, but do be smart about it. This could either be the most exciting thing ever, or the worst disaster!
Risk level: High
3. Go ice skating together
Holding hands, slipping on ice, and falling down together can be pretty romantic, too. Make some silly moves, race each other, show off some swirling skills or your ability to skate backwards. Go back to being like young teenagers in love. Have great fun helping each other up, pulling each other down and sharing in laughter.
4. Involve food in foreplay
The trick is to try something new while keeping it clean and manageable. Use fruits, such as strawberry, banana, mango, pomegranate, peach, etc., and syrups such as chocolate fudge, maple syrup and honey. And of course, whipped cream. Just remember to lay down some towels beforehand so that the sheets don’t get dirty.
5. Watch porn together
Don’t be shy about it! Use porn to teach each other what you’d like to have done to you, and what you’ll like to do to your partner. It’s a chance to get to know more about each other’s secret fantasies and previously unknown preferences or fetishes.
6. Have a beach getaway together
The beach, the sun, the sand, and the clear waters. Help each other with the sunblock lotion. Have a nice little picnic under the trees. Get a beautiful tan together. Go frolic in the blue sea when it gets too hot. Roll around in the powdery white sand. You can rekindle a lot of love by spending alone time in a natural setting, enjoying each other’s company.
7. Give each other a massage
Massage helps to relax the body by relieving tension in the muscles. It is best to do this for your partner after he or she has had a hard day at work. Giving a massage is a loving act that shows that you are understanding and giving towards your partner.
Light some scented candles or use some aromatherapy oil. Play some soft music in the background. It doesn’t have to take a long time. A 10 to 20 minute session will be able to win every bit of your partner’s heart.
8. Help each other shave
This requires a great amount of trust, but it can help to build trust between two people, too. Let your partner teach you if you don’t already know. Be patient with each other.
9. Cook a meal together
Enjoy the process of planning a meal and cooking it together. It takes cooperation and communication. Both of you share the labour and also the fruits of it. Share your family stories while you cook.
If you want to spice things up a bit, you could try cooking naked—by wearing just aprons with nothing else underneath.
10. Shop for underwear and lingerie for each other
Who doesn’t love presents? Surprise your partner with a new pair of undies today. You don’t even have to go to an actual store. Shop online! You’ll be surprised by the huge range of choices. But before that, ask your partner what he or she likes—the colours, the designs, the brands, etc.—so you won’t have too difficult a time deciding what to purchase. You could also try something extra kinky like lacy tops, thongs or certain sexy accessories
It doesn’t have to be complicated. For starters, a blindfold and whatever works to bind the hands, such as a men’s tie or women’s leggings, will suffice. For the more “advanced” or more adventurous couples, you can buy real handcuffs and other locks or straps from adult toy stores. In any case, safety first! (You can also add #4 to this.)
12. Go camping together
Camping can provide a really good way to increase intimacy for couples who both love nature. It is a sweet escape for those who are tired of the city life and all its hustle and bustle. Being closer to nature allows the rejuvenation of the mind. Think of the cool, fresh air, the silence and calmness, and the endless amount of space that nature offers.
Find yourselves a safe and adequate camping site. Learn to work together to set up a good, sturdy tent for yourselves. And what’s more romantic than melting marshmallows over campfire and star gazing side by side? You could end your night with an intimate time inside your tent or out in the open. With this, you check off #2 of this list, too!
Again, safety first: notify your family or one or two of your good friends of your whereabouts. Choose a campsite or an area that is well visited by other travelers and does not have a huge track record of animal attacks. It is best that the place is not so secluded that you can’t get internet or reception on your cell phones.
13. Book a room at a hotel (or a motel)
Many of us are too tied down by our work commitments or school schedules to be able to go on multiple holidays throughout the year. Most of us only have the year end to travel and go for a vacation with our loved ones.
But you could change things up a bit. Book a nice hotel room as a surprise for your partner. It can be just be a random Friday night out, a celebration for a promotion, a birthday or an anniversary, or a simple gesture of love for your partner. He or she will definitely appreciate your move.
For the more adventurous couples, you can try going to a motel for the night for an extra sense of spontaneity and risk.
14. Take a long, hot bath together (with champagne of course!)
Because it is sexy, and you know you want to. (You can combine it with #13.)
Especially convenient when it’s Halloween season.
16. Pen erotic writings for each other
Move over, sexting! Erotic writing could be the next big thing for couples in love. Seeing how the Fifty Shades Of Grey series has become such a bestseller worldwide, it comes to us as no surprise how personal erotic writings could be a good way of communicating to your partner in a subtle but still sexy manner. Reveal to each other your secret fantasies and yearnings. This could work really well for couples who are in a long distance relationship. Use secret pet names for each other. Be unreserved with your imagination.
Single and Ready to Mingle? Best Places to Meet People That Aren’t Bars
A lonely guy, dejected and broken by recent events, enters a bar and calls for a Vodka Martini. He is feeling down and is in no position to strike up a conversation with the folks around him. Just as he’s thinking of nothing but finishing his drink, paying his tab and calling it a day, something miraculous happens. A beautiful woman enters the bar and immediately lights up the room. Our forgotten hero cannot believe his eyes as she heads toward him, smiling. He is in seventh heaven. They chat like they’ve known each other for years; it is love at first sight.
If this sounds like a story, then that’s because such an unbelievable turnaround in fortune is indeed the stuff of fairy tale. Truth be told, if you’re looking for romance, then a bar is a terrible place to start. Fret not—the world doesn’t quite end right at the bar.
1. The Park
Parks are great places to get to know the people living around you. People from all sorts of walks of life and interests gather at the park. Parks offer a great environment to relax and take your thoughts far away from the troubles of your day-to-day life, so the casual and cheerful spirit of park visitors could help a great deal in your cause to team up with someone. Whenever you feel lonely and need someone to date, jump off your couch and take a few strolls down to the nearest park.
2. Health & Fitness Clubs
The main purpose of visiting health and fitness clubs is obviously to maintain the physique and keep up the good health. But, with mixed gender health clubs, you could have added incentives. The health clubs could come in different forms, such as saunas, gymnasiums, yoga and aerobic centres, and you could choose any of them based on your interests and practicalities. But wherever you go, you could meet a similar soul with the same interests as yours, all while you’re sweating to keep yourself fit. The only way to make new friends is to go out to new places, and health clubs are fun ways to do this. You could very well meet a special friend in the process.
3. Sporting Events
A lot is at stake during even local sporting events, not to mention the grandest of stages like the World Cup, Super Bowl or Wimbledon. And when the team and the athletes plying their trade at center stage are the ones you revere, your feelings are hard to describe. You heart oscillates between highs and lows, before finally setting on a level based on your team’s result. While you’re having this compendium of crazy emotions, there could be a charming guy or a girl nearby who echoes your emotions. You could have a say on proceedings of the game and start to converse, casually in the beginning. And, if you’re willing, you could evolve things from that starting point.
4. Social Sports Clubs
Sporting events are not the only way sports can provide you with opportunities to find a partner. You could do the same by being part of the game as well. And for this, social sports clubs are highly effective. Such social sports clubs provide great opportunities for socialising and making new friends. They provide an encouraging environment for having fun, which immediately breaks down barriers and develops talking points, without you having to think of a witty conversation starter. Depending on your preferences, you may need to pick a mixed gender sport, which could be beach soccer, tennis, badminton, dodge ball or any other sport you fancy. Pick a sport that you will genuinely enjoy, and don’t worry too much about it being something you are particularly good at—the rest will follow.
Parties are fine occasions to find a partner. So many people are gathering in one place, so you can easily find someone you’re intrigued with. A great thing about such parties is that it’s quite easy to break the ice if you’re interested. If you have a friend or relative at the party, ask them to introduce you to that person. The beginning is half done, so you’re that much closer landing a date.
Whether it be religious, musical, or cultural, festivals are one of the best ways to get to know other locals, with whom we would otherwise never be acquainted with. At festivals, the mood is cheerful and a major populace of the region gathers in one place. As said earlier in the article, the best way to meet people is to go to new places. As this kind of event is usually casual and everyone is in lighter spirits, it’s easy to pair up and start a conversation. Hence, a local festival can provide you with a chance to find a partner, living right in your neighbourhood.
7. Volunteer Activities
Each and every one of us possess a certain bit of altruistic self within ourselves, although it could be in varying degrees from person to person. Volunteering activities may seem to be too much trouble. But if you have a sense of longing to serve the community and desire to contribute to the overall good of humanity, volunteering is a great thing to do. You don’t only enhance your personal development with it; you’ll also meet new people. And, along the journey, you could also meet someone who shares your interests and whom you are compatible with. You could foster a great relationship with him/her as well. Therefore, even if you’ve never felt like doing it, spare a thought for it, as the incentive is too huge to turn down!
In many romantic movies and novels, lovebirds emerge from within the classroom walls And, rightfully so, since in real life, classrooms are often a great place to find someone to form a bond with. Generally, most of us have our first crushes on our classmates. And often, the first romantic endeavours are with the ones we shared classes with during high school years. Our classmates are frequently the ones with whom we spend the most time at a particular stage in our life, and they are also the ones with whom the chance of developing a connection is highest. So look around the seats in your classroom, single folks out there!
Libraries may not hold much appeal as the likeliest of places to find someone to date, but believe me: you’d be wrong to laugh off at their potential to hook you up with a companion. Imagine how romantic it will be when you’re holding a copy of Pride and Prejudice in your hands and are completely propelled by the unfolding of events in the book. And when you lift up your looks to people around the room, you find a dazzling beauty sitting across the table, holding a copy of the same novel herself. Your eyes meet and as they say, the rest could well be history. So, if you’re enthralled by reading, libraries could help you find someone with similar interests and save you from being forever alone.
We often like to dream of a charming companion by our side while we’re travelling, whether it be on an airplane, a train or a bus. We want this even more we’re travelling long distances. Sometimes, we may not get exactly what we’d wished for, having to travel with complaining aunts or boring uncles. But sometimes, we can get really lucky and meet the prince charming or princess of our dreams right there. When we’re accompanying him/her for such a long distance and time, there’s plenty of opportunities to communicate and get to know each other. And, it could well be the start of another great love story!
In reality, love at first sight very rarely occurs. Affection grows over time, strengthened by shared experience and appreciation of events around you. People don’t fall in love based on physical appearance, but on personality—so looking for ways to show your personality is the best way to “mingle.” The inherently flawed notion of “fate” is simply an occurrence due to the weight of circumstance. But it is these circumstances that you can affect by giving yourself the opportunities to connect with others, based on shared interest and experience.
15 Secrets Of Seriously Sexually Satisfied Long-Term Couples
Ahhh, the joys of a long-term relationship: Comfort, loyalty...and a sort-of-stale sex life. Not so fast. Staying together for the long haul doesn't necessarily mean action in the bedroom has to suffer. In fact, knowing each other so well can actually make things even hotter in that arena. Need proof? We spoke to real couples, all of whom have been together for 10 years or longer, and rank their sex lives very highly. Lucky for you, they were willing to share their secrets.
Secret #1: Put it on the calendar
"My husband travels a lot for work,” says Marianne*, 39, who has been married for 15 years, "so we 'bookend' it. We have sex before he leaves and right when he gets back." Chet* and Tina*, 49 and 47 respectively, who have been together 16 years, also schedule sex when they have to travel. "If Tina is leaving for a trip, she'll stop by the house on her way to the airport from work to 'get some' before flying," says Chet, "or we'll plan to have sex after church if I have to leave on a Sunday."
Secret #2: Be candid.
"The secret to keeping sex exciting is making sure the lines of communication are open," says Alisa, 40, who has been married for 18 years. "Tony didn't always know how to give me an orgasm. When I made the decision to talk to him about what does work, we reached a whole new level of intimacy. I wasn't waiting for him to 'figure it out' anymore; sharing has made both of us better lovers."
Secret #3: Act like teenagers.
Be honest with yourself
One night of no-strings attached sex is only fun if a bit of fun is genuinely all you're looking for.
If you're looking to get over a broken heart or put pay to feelings of loneliness, it might be wise to stick to one-step-at-a-time dating.
If in doubt, think about how you'd take it if he bolted at the crack of dawn without so much as a goodbye. Are you sure you're ready?
Be honest with him
Believe it or not, not all men are just looking for sex.
Some of them would like sex and a relationship. So don't assume that just because you met in a club at 1.50 am he only wants a one-night stand.
If you know you're not going to want to swap numbers the next day, tell him before you get into the cab. Otherwise you're going to have to explain in the morning… with a hangover.
Disappearing off on your own with a man you met at the end of the night is a risky business.
The more you and your friends know about him and his friends, the better. If you do feel comfortable with the situation be sure to tell your friends exactly where you're going and make sure you have your (fully-charged) mobile handy.
And don't forget to make sure you have protection before you reach the bedroom.
Beware the beer goggles
There's nothing like a pair of rosé-tinted spectacles for transforming dodgy duds into eligible studs.
If in any doubt about the calibre of your pull, swap numbers with him and arrange to meet up another night when you can assess him while sober before jumping into the sack.
This will save any shrieks when you roll over and clock his ugly mug in the morning.
Have a get-out (now!) clause
No matter how wonderful he appears now, there is no telling how you're going to feel tomorrow (he may have a Power Rangers duvet cover or a penchant for wearing leather chaps during sex).
Tell him before you get into the cab that you have to get up early to meet a friend. If you do want to hang out the next day, you can say she cancelled and if you don't you can bolt without hurting his feelings.
Don't overstay your welcome
Even if you had the time of your life and would like to spend the day hanging out with him, it's always better to leave sooner rather than later.
If he feels the same, he'll like you even more when you leave him wanting more; if he doesn't want to take things further, it will save you the humiliation of being chucked out.
Don't "accidentally" leave anything there
Before you exit the building be absolutely sure you've got all of your belongings.
There is nothing more humiliating than having to go back later to pick something up. Not least because he'll probably think you've done it on purpose. On that note,
DON'T do it on purpose. If he likes you he'll call. Likewise, if he stays at yours make sure he doesn't "accidentally" leave anything either – or worse hide his stuff!
Don't take things personally
Being rejected is never pleasant even when you don't fancy the guy in question ("But he was lucky to have me!").
If he disappears at the crack of dawn, just remember you agreed at the outset this was for one night only so you hardly set the precedent for a deep and meaningful relationship.
Don't take it to heart – he made it clear he wasn't in the market for anything serious.
How to take things further
If something clicked during your night of passion and now you'd like to take things further it would be wise to proceed with caution.
Confronting him while you're still in bed and he's likely to feel backed into a corner. Instead, leave him your number and tell him you'd love to meet up with him for a coffee sometime.
A daytime date makes it clear you're looking more than a booty call.
How to let him down gently
The fun is over and now you can’t wait to get him out of the house.
But he won’t budge. If you missed step 5 and haven’t already lined up a get-out (now!) clause, the best way to nip things in the bud once and for all is to be honest.
Make him a cup of tea, tell him you had a great time (okay, that bit doesn’t have to be honest) but that you’re not in the market for a relationship - Simple.
Step 10 – The first date survival guide
Eliminate pre-date nerves
In the hours before your first date, make sure you distract yourself and you’ll help to keep those pre-date jitters at bay.
If a workout at the gym is your fail-safe stress reliever or a glowing tan is your ultimate confidence booster, you’re not alone. We are twice as likely to hit the gym ahead of their first date while daters in the North West are 95% more likely to go for a sunbed or apply fake tan! So, whether you chose to indulge in a hot bath and a book, a pre-date calorie burn at the gym or fake it with a spray tan, keeping yourself occupied will prevent you from overthinking possible dating scenarios, so that when it comes to the big date itself, you’ll be relaxed and ready to go have a good time.
Get the basics right
Where possible, choose a public or familiar place to meet where you’ll feel comfortable and secure in your surroundings. And, for extra measure, make sure you tell at least one friend or family member who you are meeting, where you are going and what time you expect to return – just so they know.
Cafes make for great first date venues; a cup of coffee allows for a short encounter or a longer meeting, depending on how well you hit it off!
Do your homeworkAhead of your first date, preparation will play a big part in keeping your stomach from doing somersaults at the mere mention of your date’s name. If you’ve been talking online, it’s more than likely that you’ll know the basics about your date and like what you’ve seen.
Reading through past messages and picking out some things from their profile you’d like to know more about will help keep conversation flowing and allow you to be a happy confident date.
Dress to impressWith a hot date on the cards, you won’t want to be dealing with a last minute wardrobe malfunctions.
Before picking an outfit, you need to bear in mind what kind of date you’re going on, as well as external factors such as the weather, location and time of day.
While it’s essential to look the part, it’s equally as important to feel comfortable in what you’re wearing. The trick is to get the balance right. Choose an outfit that both looks and feels great and you’ll exude confidence throughout your date.
If you’re not sure if it’s a look that works for you then ditch it and save it for another night when you can get an honest opinion from your friends. Trialing a new trend on a date could mean you spend half the night checking yourself out, trying to see if you look good, which isn’t the best signal to be sending out.
Arrive on timeLateness in itself is not a deal-breaker, as long as you call or text to let your date know when you’ll be there.
One way to reduce the chance of a good date is to turn up flustered, grouchy and wracked with guilt. If you’re held up, apologise with dignity, deliver a winning smile and offer your date a drink.
Keep conversation light
The first date is all about enjoying the company of someone new and intriguing, so aim to avoid provoking political debates and stories about past relationships. Dating should be fun, so try to keep the conversation light and upbeat with stories and questions. If you still find yourself struggling then try having some pre-prepared ice breaker questions and read up on how to be an interesting date.
Enjoy the date
Try to have fun on the date. If the food is diabolical or the pub is awful, don’t complain. Don’t lie and say you love it either – remain neutral and polite. If you date has taken time to choose the venue, compliment something about it such as the convenient location.
Another way to keep your date upbeat is to start conversations by asking questions about values and feelings rather than just facts; “what do you love about your job?” is far more revealing and will warrant a longer answer from your date than simply asking “what do you do?”.
Don’t feel as though you need to cram every silence with a comment or question. You might learn a thing or two by simply relaxing and listening to your date. Responding appropriately will show that you too have an opinion and, perhaps more importantly at this stage, that you are interested in what they have to say.
How to end the date
If you’re keen for a second date with this person, tell them! However, if you’re shy, or would prefer to gauge whether they’d like to see you again, perhaps you could hint by saying: “It’s been lovely meeting you, I really enjoyed it.”
If you’re 100% sure you don’t want a second date, it’s important that you still try to end the date on a warm and positive note, while being truthful, to avoid hurt feelings. Honesty truly is the best policy; being honest creates transparency where trust can flourish and is something you can take forward into your next relationship.
First date advice: How to break the ice on a first date
Break the ice with some first date pick-up lines It’s the first date, so our advice is this: ask a few pick up-lines to break the tension, before either of you have a chance to let the conversation drift into an awkward silence. The best question to start with could well be ‘what’s your most embarrassing moment?’ – this is a chance to share something cringe-worthy with your date, build a bond over a shared confidence and have a laugh. It’s a good test of your date’s sense of humour and the first of many chances to make them giggle.
Other great questions are:
• If you were a superhero, what power would you have?
• If you had three wishes what would they be?
• What’s the one song that always gets you on the dance floor – even if it’s your secret guilty pleasure?
Fun, light hearted and vaguely cheeky questions are going to work in your favour and get each of you to show your personalities early on in that first crucial date.
Keep things fun on a first date Are you the shy type? Not great at conversation? Then don’t choose the type of date where you’ll be forced to sit face to face at a dinner table for two hours.
To avoid drying up, or running out of witticisms, choose an activity which both of you can get stuck into and really enjoy yourselves. A cookery class, bowling, even going to the zoo, are all fun things to do which won’t leave you grappling with awkward silences.
Take the pressure off by doing something along these lines and those first date nerves will melt away.
First dates should be short and sweet Now for some lesser known first date advice: put a time limit on your date beforehand, and you should be more relaxed about getting through the date nerve-free.
Deciding in advance exactly when you want to end the date has two functions, it serves to cut the date short on a high whilst both of you are having fun, and leaves your date wanting more, thus increasing your chances of a second date. Result!
What will NOT break the ice on the first date Lastly, first date advice should also focus on what not to do. Your chances of a successful date will be diminished if you happen to do any of the following:
• Show up any more than fashionably late,
• Dress in a way that’s too outlandish or provocative
• Talk about the failings of your former partners
• Constantly answer your phone or send text messages
• Don’t talk enough or make an effort with conversation
Most importantly, and perhaps the best advice of all, is to be yourself and relax. The chances are your date will follow suit and you’ll be in for a fabulous first date.
Top 5 first date conversation starters
Whilst your date’s occupation, education and interests may be important to you, there is a more creative way to discover more about your date without making them feel like they’re being interviewed.
1) If a genie offered you three wishes, what would you wish for?
This question is a cleverly disguised means of learning more about your date’s aspirations and life ambitions to see if you share similar ideals.
Injecting humour into your stories and questions is a great way to spark a conversation that lasts longer than a couple of “yes” or “no” answers. Not only will this showcase your interesting and playful nature, but it will also help to put your date at ease.
2) “What would your specialist Mastermind subject be?”
This question requires some thought, a longer answer and a real glimpse of what your date knows, where their strengths lie and what makes your date tick.
Questions like these will not only show that you’re fun and easy-going, but it’ll also present you with the opportunity to pick up on points made by your date, which will lead to further questions about their education and occupation.
3) “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten”
If food is the way to your heart, you may be keen to learn about your date’s culinary skills and preferences. Asking about their favourite food doesn’t require much thought, “what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten”, however, does.
An outside the box question such as this will provide your date with the opportunity to recount the witty tale of when they mistook camel for caviar or when they were dared by their travelling companions to tuck into a tasty tarantula!
4) What song sums you up?
If music be the food of love….then you may be itching to take a sneak peek at your date’s iPod playlists! But, rather than asking the age old question of “what sort of music do you like” (or indeed pinching their portable music devices for a flick through), ask your date to sum up their personality or life in a song.
This clever alternative question will help you learn a bit more about your date’s music trivia and perhaps even a glimpse of their tastes as well.
5) What’s the most amazing place you’ve ever visited?
Learn about your date’s life experiences and passions with this simple question that offers the chance for a bountiful response.
Exchange stories about your travels, favourite spots across the globe or simply the sights you’d love to see one day.
Get Your Mind Right! Give these to your valentine NOW to get them in the right frame of mind for the big day
For you Postcard making fans...A collection of Valentine Elements
Here's One I Made earlier..
Print it, Frame It, Give it
Found this Retro Rock Valentines Card, thought I'd share
Who doesn't love a bargain. Share these Love Coupons with your Valentine
Once again, clicking on the image below will allow you to download the entire sheet in glorious high-res.
Send your Valentine off with a little reminder of your love
A delightful set of Valentine Colouring-in pages
Love and Lust
Love and Lust, isn't that all we truly want...
11 Things You Should Definitely Put On Your Sex Bucket List
15 Secrets Of Seriously Sexually Satisfied Long-Term Couples
16 Intimate Things Every Couple Should Do At Least Once
20 Women Reveal The Pick-Up Lines That Actually Worked On Them
50 Best Breakup Songs
50 Best Love Songs Of All Time
50 Sexiest Songs Ever Made
9 Things You Need To Know About Anal Sex
Does Your Wife Want To Sleep With Another Man?
First Date Advice: How To Break The Ice On A First Date
How Not To Suck At Socialising – Do’s & Don’ts
How To Write A Love Letter
More Morning Sex
Single And Ready To Mingle? Best Places To Meet People That Aren’t Bars
The First Date Survival Guide
This Bedroom Habit Is Crucial For A Happy Relationship
Top 5 First Date Conversation Starters
Valentines Day Ideas